CONFUSED UHH----

 
Part-1 


 5:30 in the morning…sitting confused yet my face shows no signs of regret for what all I have done to myself over the last few months..i am just lost.... googling my path ahead..never thought to be in such a quagmired status and the only escape from it is when I give a damn shit try…and this should not be a difficult task for an escapist like me..but again this requires changes in numerous aspects of my life for which though I am ready but is the toughest task ever asked by myself to myself.. 


  hey my tummy is crying…please please someone please feed me please…this cup of hot tea is not what I want at this point..please just take it away.. 


 In the office itself , a glance at the dedicated bunch of juniors and seniors makes me all the more nausea tic.. over the years I have become so so careless..can you beat the fact that almost every other day I lose one pen in the office..and its so funny to say that now I belong to P.O.R.N. (people of reckless nature) category..And whats more I have been reading articles on various facets of life that needs to be inducted in my life to shape my life..this I have doing for hours in the last few days. 


Four years of engineering has made me so flexible that i have learnt to adjust to anything and anywhere despite the fact that I am so complaining as I am never satisfied easily until I get what I desire for ...a typical scorpion trait..i don’t know whether this flexible thing is a desirable quality or not as I attribute this factor to be the one responsible for the dying of fighting spirit and not feeling bad for anything type attitude…and these are signs of a loser..yes a bloody loser.. 


 Part-2 


 The chilled night is begging me to enter into a dormant mode..but see I am into this night shift thing after so many days betraying the blanket which is waiting for me in my den.. What for I am doing this..? this indepth analysis of my inner self which I have never done before…I know no one is perfect ..and still…why?? Why do I hate being in a job? And yes the payslip that just released brought a smile on my face not because for the fact that my account got thickened but for the reason that I still earned almost the same while sitting at the home..come on this is no achievement..take pain in the fact that you ruined your first attempt..failures are for sure bitter and the very feeling of failure if at all in the next attempt makes deep shudders of cold run through my body .. and there are many things I cannot reveal… I am just missing out something..i have an idea of it..but don’t want to go deep into it..it is painful..but hey come on this hardly is going to make any difference as all your tears have already dried..just wondering how my life has turned into a rubber ball.. it still retains the inherent property of bouncing inspite of being played to a limitless extent….